Dearest Liver,

Why is it that if there is a tiny chance that someone, somewhere will get a side effect from a drug it’s going to end up being me? Not only do I have zombie jaw that is supposed to be an uncommon side effect from Xgeva, but now I seem to be developing neuropathy from my current chemos.

According to the interwebs, which everyone knows is true, 2% of cancer patients treated with Xgeva developed jaw necrosis. And according to my NP, who I love and trust, neuropathy is possible, but has a much lower chance with the drug I’m on than one of the taxanes, like the Taxol I had the first time around that did cause neuropathy.

I’m wondering if I’m more likely to get it this time around since I’ve had it before or if I’m just lucky, but either way, I’m over it! I’m also losing my ability to bounce back after chemo. I’m told that this happens when you’ve been on it for a while and that it’s normal, but it sucks! I don’t want to play anymore. Tomorrow starts treatment 2 of cycle 6, which is 6 months of hard chemo. I’m also approaching my 2 year cancerversary of metastatic disease and I’m tired. Can’t I ever have a drug that doesn’t have bad side effects and doesn’t make me feel like I got hit by a truck? Right now I’m thinking the answer is no, but I have faith in my team, they’ll come up with something… let’s just hope they come up with something soon!

Love and kisses,

Robin